TOP 100+ Funny Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Caption

Best Funny Instagram Captions

• Wine + dinner = winner
• I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
• Reality called, so I hung up.
• Just got that Friday feeling.
• Confidence level: Kanye West.
• When nothing goes right, go left.
• Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
• Be a cupcake in a world of muffins.
• When you are downie, eat a brownie.
• I’m on a date, she isn’t very social.
• I wish my wallet came with free refills.
• Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
• Did it for the memories – totally worth it!
• I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
• If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
• After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
• I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
• Do I run? Yes… Out of time, patients and money.
• How do I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
• How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
• Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
• I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
• Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
• Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
• What do you call a thieving alligator? A Crookodile.
• What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Hoodini.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
• I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
• There is maybe no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
• People say nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day!
• The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
• You couldn’t handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!
• I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband!
• Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
• I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
• Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
• My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
• I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
• Even I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
• Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
• The more you weight, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake!
• For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
• What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A may-bee… I’m a maybe.
• Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
• I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
• A cop pulled me over and told me Papers, so I said Scissors, I win! And drove off.
• Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But that gets boring really fast. So I go back to being normal!
• Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
• If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
• Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies!

Funny Instagram Captions for Selfie

• But first, let me take a selfie.
• My hairstyle is called “I Tried”.
• Somethings look very good in dreams.
• Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
• I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
• When nothing goes right, go left instead.
• A selfie once a day keeps the depression away.
• When you are laughing life seems to be better.
• As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside.
• You don’t have to like me; I’m not a Facebook status.
• Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
• Always classy, never trashy, and a little bit sassy.
• When you take a selfie and your hairs look perfect but not your face.
• Someday someone is going to look at you like you’re the best thing in the world.
• Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.

Funny Instagram Captions for Friends

• Best memories come from bad ideas.
• Friends are the family you choose.
• Friendship is…being equally annoying.
• Coffee and friends make the perfect blend.
• Hard times will always reveal true friends.
• Friends don’t let you do crazy things…alone.
• Happiness is doing weird things with friends.
• Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
• with your best friend is all the therapy you need.
• I hope we never get tired of making fun of each other.
• Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
• Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life.
• I was an innocent being. Then my best friend came along.
• I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
• I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends will go there.
• Best friends keep your secret longer – at least for one hour.
• Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!!
• A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.
• Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep disturbing them..!!
• A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
• If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.
• A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
• A best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself.
• Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.
• True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.
• Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.
• A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
• Friends knock on the door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating.
• A good friend knows all your best stories, a best friend has lived them with you.
• God made us best friends because he knew our moms couldn’t handle us as sisters.
• A good friend is like a box of chocolate…sweet, nutty, & a good remedy for a bad day!
• Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with your best friends.
• Everyone has that one annoying friend, if you don’t have one then it’s probably you.
• A girl can survive without a boyfriend, but she can’t survive without a best friend.
• Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: run loser run!
• Friends pick us up when we fall down and if they can’t, they lie down with us and listen for a while.
• We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I’ll pick you up… after I finish laughing.
• Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face!
• Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
• Strangers think I’m quiet, my friends think I’m outgoing, but my best friends know that I’m completely insane.
• Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us we would be put in a mental hospital.
• A true friend cares like a mom, scolds like a dad, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and loves more than a lover.

Funny Instagram Captions for Couples

• I don’t Chat to Flirt.
• One soul, two bodies.
• Like rain, I fell for you.
• You make my heart skip a beat.
• I will love you unconditionally.
• You are the risk I’ll always take.
• Friday, my second favorite F word.
• I just want to hug you so much right now.
• I wish my wallet came with free refills.
• It’s okay even the sky cries sometimes.
• You mean more to me than you’ll ever know.
• By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me.
• With you, every moment is sweet and memorable.
• I won’t cry for you. My mascara’s too expensive.
• I like the way you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.
• I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
• I am trying not to think about you but it’s not working.
• I feel the fragrance of LOVE everywhere when you are near me.
• What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram?
• Sometimes I look at you and I wonder how I got to be so damn lucky.
• If you smile, every time his name pops up on your screen. You’re in love.
• My bed is a magical place, I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
• Let’s commit the perfect crime. I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine.
• When a girl is in love, you can see it in her smile. When a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes.

Funny Instagram Captions for Beach

• I see you.
• Seas the Day!
• Shall we dance?
• Sun Shine on my Mind.
• Tropic like its hot.
• Breathe in the Ocean.
• Beach More Worry Less.
• Ocean Air, Salty hair.
• Don’t worry BEACH happy.
• Palm trees & Ocean breeze
• I need some beach therapy.
• Happiness comes in waves.
• Good Vibes happen on Tides.
• The best days are Beach days.
• Sun, sand and pineapple in hand.
• If there’s a will, there’s a wave.
• I am happiest when floating in Sea.
• The smell of the ocean never gets old.
• My love for you is deeper than the ocean.
• I don’t need a Man. I need Tequila and Tan.
• I look my best when I’m totally free, on holiday, walking on the beach.

Funny Instagram Captions for Christmas

• Winter Wonderland
• Believe in your elf.
• Totally sleighed it.
• You rock my Christmas socks.
• That’s too small to fit a pony.
• But first, let me take an elfie.
• I’ll be ho-ho-home for Christmas.
• Merry everything and happy always.
• Sweater Weather is Better Together.
• Nothing says holiday like a cheese log.
• Dear Santa, is it too late now to say sorry?
• What do you call an elf who sings? A Wrapper.
• ‘Tis the season! Let the overeating begin!
• It’s beginning to look a lot Like Christmas.
• I Have O.C.D. – Obsessive Christmas Disorder
• Kindness is Free Sprinkle that Stuff Everywhere.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
• I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
• I’ll never outgrow the excitement of looking out my window and seeing falling snow.
• Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
• Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own stuff.
• Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke. Others just don’t work for you and there are others that make your day shine bright.

 

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